Locked in Zombie

I’ve been waking up at 5 on the weekdays recently. Rephrase: I’ve been trying to wake up at 5 on the weekdays recently.

I’ve been aware of the passage of time the older I get, the more I want it and the less I have. Responsibilities increase, life progresses and next thing you know the routine has been set. Adding any skill, hobby, or even just time for yourself becomes a whole reframe in your life.

Back in college, I would try things out weekly it seems. Claymation, sketch comedy, even smoking a brisket, I was a Renaissance man. I appreciate that spirit – feeling free and open to try anything and everything. At the same time, I kind of lived in that headspace for the last 8 years post college and was not able to build momentum in my life. It’s one thing to try a billion things, but what am I actually doing? So now I’m trying to do that. And I’m doing that by waking up.

I have never been a morning person. I used to need two alarms in high school – one which was across the room from me so I had to physically get out of bed in order for me to snooze. Even with this design, there was still a flaw in the plan – me. I would get out of bed, slam the alarm off, and somehow end up back asleep only to be woken by my mom’s shouting voice.

In my young adult life, staying up late proved to be much more fun and rewarding than waking up early. Why rush to start a new day when all that was going to greet me was stress and work? Let’s ride out the excitement of night.

I’ve slowed down in several ways over the years and now have very limited opportunities for excitement. Which is a good thing. The stability creates room for my brain to challenge my old self what is truly rewarding and how I want to live my life.

Constant applied pressure is the phrase that keeps coming back to me. What I am acutely aware of if I want to achieve. It is not enough to want. You need to do, consistently. So when are you going to do it? How will you prioritize it?

My wife read a book about priorities and one of the major take aways was that we as a culture don’t understand the definition of the word itself. If you have a job, you probably have heard or even you yourself have cited that something is a priority. Or you will add something to a list of priorities.

The word means sole focus. Priority. Nothing is more important.

How can you have a list of nothing is more important? Why isn’t it just one thing? Who is actually arbitrating in your life what is and is not on that list? Do you have boundaries in place for it?

As I get older my priority has shifted from having fun to growing. Challenging myself and the habits I have created for myself. Truly questioning what is serving and not serving me in the life I want to lead.

I am not a morning person, but that has become a priority to adjust. My sleep has decreased. My focus on other things in my life has shifted due to the lack of sleep. I am operating with a headache for most of the day. I feel the impact. I’m letting the new schedule truly take priority.

I am investing in a future of the life I want. That takes pushing myself to grow. Not just staying comfortable.

How are you challenging your complacency? What is your priority lately?